Make no mistake, buying a girly bong doesn’t necessarily have to be for a hippie looking girl, anyone who appreciates the fine points of marijuana, will fall in love with these great pieces.
I remember, when I was in graduate school, we were caught up in a lot of dry, dull, highly-technical lectures conducted by egghead scientists. These people were the stereotypical Hollywood nerds, complete with pocket protectors and thick-rimmed glasses.
It’s as if somebody called Central Casting and said, “Can you get us that stereotypical professorial nerd?” Guess what? They heaped them up in large servings.
Before we continue my story, let’s have a look at some of the best girly pipes and bongs for sale right now.
Best Girly Bongs For sale
Mini Pink Beaker Bong
Height: 8.5 inches
Ice Notches: Yes
Joint Size: 18.8 mm
Buy The Mini Pink Beaker Bong!
Honeybee Beaker Bong
Height: 10 inches
Ice Notches: Yes
Joint Size: 14 mm
Buy The Glass Honeybee Beaker Bong!
Tall Pink Water Bong
Height: 14 inches
Ice Notches: Yes
Joint Size: 18 mm
Buy The Pink Tree Perc Beaker Bong!
And now to continue my story…
I’m not talking about clones. There were many different types of nerdy professors that I had to work with. I can’t say that they were all unpleasant because a lot of them were a hoot A lot of them were clueless regarding how daily life works and how ordinary people thought and processed reality. It was quite an exciting time.
Then, there was this nerd girl that had striking red hair and emerald green eyes. She was just very captivating, although she was an acquired taste. She had a lot of freckles and kind of had a weird voice.
A lot of guys just basically thought that she was on her way to becoming one of those professors. In other words, she’s just a female nerd.
Instead, I saw a diamond in the rough. We’re talking about a rough uncut diamond deep in the bowels of South Africa’s diamond quarries. That’s how undeveloped she was.
Let’s put it this way. Her fashion sense was a combination of a car mechanic and a plumber. She didn’t care. That was what drew me to her precisely.
The attraction wasn’t exactly sexual, but more of academic. Because I was struggling in that class, believe me.
If you wanted to visualize a guy drowning in data because he couldn’t make sense of all these theories plugged into equations and formulas, and how I’m supposed to tie it, somehow, someway into sound output, that was me. It was kind of a hard situation because Asian people are supposed to be good at math and engineering.
So, I was caught between self-loathing and serious questions about why I was there—how this university, which was ranked pretty much top in the world, accepted me? Then I saw her. She was like my oasis in the desert of confusion clad in mathematical quadratic equations.
I finally found a reason to talk to her. She was hosting a study session that nobody wanted to go to. I showed up. It was only her and me.
One thing led to another, I invited her back to my place, and I whipped out a girl bong. She told me, “what’s that?” and I said, “yeah, it’s your ticket to a higher state of consciousness.”
I thought, at this point, that she was going to nerd out on me. I was perfectly prepared for that. You know, it would be good for a laugh. In fact, I did it thinking that it’s going to head south, and at least we’re going to laugh about it. But she was quite curious.
She said, “Really? A different state of consciousness. I’ve been reading a lot of Carlos Castaneda.”
By the time the last syllable left her mouth, I was floored because very few people read Carlos Castaneda today. Even several years ago, when my experience took place, Castaneda was basically ancient history. But back in the day, he was the guru of psychedelic experiences.
People who were communing with different worlds, thanks to the modern magic of pharmaceutical drugs, couldn’t stop talking about him. I was just blown away. She was into Carlos Castaneda.
Then she started breaking down how neurotransmitters work and how marijuana is so powerful because our bodies have marijuana receptors built in. Believe it or not, the human brain produces chemicals that are similar to marijuana.
That was when I fell in love with her. Not in a sexual way, but with her mind. She was just so awesome because that intellectual curiosity is very rare.
Sure enough, she wrapped her lips around the bong and drew a hit. I dutifully lit the bowl to unleash the psycho-pharmaceutical, all-organic goodness of that top-notch marijuana I bought.
The problem is she quickly dropped it although she had a grin on her face because apparently, the weed made some sort of impact, but I was embarrassed.
The next time we hung out, she invited me over to her place, and I was just floored by the posters. We’re talking about a fantastic mix of intellectual influences.
On the one hand, she had posters of Van Gogh retrospectives from all over the world. Apparently, she’s a world traveler. On the other hand, there are pictures of Soviet communist posters. My girl has fallen in love with Socialist, or let’s say, Communist ideology. Fascinating, to say the least.
Anyway, she whipped out this bong, and it was my first introduction to girly bongs. I didn’t know that there was such a thing as a girly bong.
It was aquamarine. It had all sorts of decorations on it. It’s made out of plastic and designed in such a way that somebody can hold it pretty much at any angle and not drop it. In other words, it was a bong designed for feminine tastes regardless of experience levels. It’s made of acrylic. It has all the advantages of your typical acrylic bong.
In other words, it doesn’t load up with residue too quickly. The water can easily be replaced. The mouthpiece plastic guard can easily be replaced.
Everything about it reeked of the typical bong design, with all its fantastic versatility and adaptability, while retaining a distinctly feminine sensibility. What’s not to love?
So, here I was sucking on a girly bong, and it did the job. My only regret or cause for complaint that night was the choice of weed. It wasn’t all that good.
I mean, I was thinking, since she had it all going on—she’s brilliant. The least she could have done was at least get some good stuff from Mendocino or Humboldt County or some high-grade Northern California stuff. But who was I to complain?
Anyway, one thing led to another, and now she’s my wife.
So, do yourself a big favor. If you are looking for a gift for that special female who enjoys the distinct charms and benefits of marijuana or other related dried plant matter, go the extra mile.
Don’t assume that all women just want to get high, so any old bong would do.
Take the necessary step of getting a girly bong. It has to be her very own marijuana inhalation device. This shows her that you genuinely care about her and that you look at that situation from her perspective. It’s not all about you.
Believe me, a little bit of selflessness, as far as relationships go, can go a long way. Not only do you accept each other more fully, but you grow into each other, and are there 100% for each other.
So, the next time you smoke weed, and you look into each other’s eyes, you capture the moment. It is no longer about you and me as separate beings. It’s about us.
Us is a third party. Us has its own agenda. Us spins on its axis and is alive and loves and lives on its own terms. That is a real relationship.
One of the best ways to show your female significant other that she truly means something to you is to give her a girly bong. You have to understand that guys have abused and misused the words “I love you” since time immemorial.
It’s all about actions, dudes. Not just words. Because everybody can say that, but very few people mean it.